New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
