Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I faked an abortion last night.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
