we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
