With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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