a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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