So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
