when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Let's paint friendship bongs
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
