you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
