Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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