ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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