Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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