the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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