i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
