Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she smelled like a LAN party
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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