I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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