erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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