So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
