if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Two words: blizzard sex
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
