Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
