Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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