i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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