oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
