You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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