Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
