Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
