drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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