You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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