dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
