Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We need to get me chipped asap
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
