Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
