So drunk its hurt
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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