I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
