you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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