It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
