she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
