Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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