come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
