i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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