forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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