Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
