Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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