I will die if light touches me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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