Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
