I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
FUCK WHALES
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize