She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
