hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
