I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
