is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
