yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
