I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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