I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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