I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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