You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
