All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
