my sisters under your porch take her home
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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