but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize