So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
