vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
