Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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