please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
